The realization still hasn't hit me. I still cannot grasp the fact that I'm actually leaving... When I do, my eyes tear up and I can't control my nerves. I get so shakey and anxious that I can hardly function or think. I can't focus on anything right now. My brain is wandering all over the place and at the same time, it's nowhere at all...
It goes without saying that this is the most drastic change I've ever made to my life. It's pretty much the only change I've made to my adult life, relationship changes aside. And it's huge.
Many people keep saying how brave I am, how they're surprised that I'm actually doing this. Truth is, it's got nothing to do with being brave. I'm scared as all hell. Nothing in the world can prepare you for what I'm about to do. Quite honestly, I'm surprised at myself for making this move. I didn't know I had it in me to chase after something like this, to put every bit of me into something and just go for it.
I can't really say too much about the move right now... I'm not quite all here at the moment... I try to type one thing and end up rethinking it and hating it. I'm going to keep braving the tough face. I'm trying not to cry in front of people, but right now, as it's all hitting me, I can't help but do just that.
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